No one has a more inflated sense of their own abilities than Missoula's graffiti taggers. When I think of the graffiti "art" around Missoula, some words come to mind. Ugly, basic, cliché— that's all I can tell you without cussing. There's more creativity in a single Facebook status update than in all of Missoula's taggers combined. There's more beauty in an eviction notice than there is in any of Missoula's spay-painted surfaces. So here's a few reasons to think twice next time you feel like vandalizing our city.

You have no talent

Sorry to break it to ya, but you're more of a Bozo than you are a Banksy. Making great art takes ability, patience and an art degree couldn't hurt. You clearly have none of those, so stick to the coloring books. Maybe one day you'll learn to stay within the lines, but I won't hold my breath.

People work hard cleaning up your mess

Every time I see a hammer and sickle graffitied to a wall, I get slapped in the face by the hand of irony. Ouch. It's supposed to represent triumph over capitalism, yet whoever painted the symbol is forcing a proletarian worker to take time out of their day erasing it.  You're not revolutionary, you're repulsive.

There are better things to do

Such as, any activity that isn't a crime. If you like art, check out one of Missoula's many art galleries. If you like larping as a Tony Hawk's Underground character, stick to the skateboarding part. And if you absolutely must spray paint, there's a wall on the California Street bridge that you can tag legally.