What If Michael Myers Came To Montana?

This article contains no spoilers, enjoy :)

It's hard to say something nice about Michael Myers. He doesn't seem even a little friendly, and excuse my language but I'd venture to say he's a straight-up jerk. Jokes aside, Michael Myers could be the most ferocious killer in all of horror. He's incredibly strong, durable and ruthless. It's no wonder why he's able to conjure fear and dread with no more than a casual stance and a piano-based theme song. This character is the personification of violent death.

That said, he wouldn't be much of a threat here in Montana. I in no way mean to disparage the great people of Illinois, where the original movie takes place. It's just that Montana is a whole other beast. Here's a few Montanans I think could handle one of our favorite bad guys no problem.

"Sugar" Sean O'Malley

He's a 27-year-old UFC fighter with 11 knock outs or technical knock outs on his record. He's earned multiple performance-of-the-night bonuses which are only awarded to those who show true combat skills in the octagon. I know you're skeptical that any person could go toe-to-toe with a slasher legend, but if you watch even 1-minute of the video below, I have no doubt you'll be convinced.

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This Dude From Teton County

Michael Myers is fierce, but back in 2015 a hunter named Chase Delwo won a fight against a 400-pound grizzly with his bare hands. How did he do it? By shoving his fist down the grizzly's throat. This guy would make ol' grey mask eat dirt.

Jeannette Rankin

She was the first woman elected to the U.S. house of representatives and she stood by her beliefs even when she knew it would be seen as controversial— what I'm saying is, if she could beat the patriarchy, she could beat that wannabe Jason Voorhees. Although she passed away in 1973, I think her mighty spirit lives on in the hearts of people all across this state. With that in mind it's clear that face-to-face with a Montanan, Michael Myers would wet his blue jumpsuit.